When Survival Comes First:
Honoring the Season You Are In
Before we ask the body to grow, create, heal, and thrive, we must first honor the season we are in.
There are seasons when life strips away what we thought was stable: relationships, homes, identities, careers, health, certainty.
When we experience prolonged stress, trauma, grief, financial instability, uncertainty, or loss, the body may shift resources toward survival. This is not a failure of the body. It is the body doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect us.
During these seasons, digestion, creativity, connection, and healing may become harder because the body is prioritizing safety.
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The Spoon Theory:
Honoring Your Available Energy
Christine Miserandino created the Spoon Theory in 2003 through her essay, “The Spoon Theory,” as a way to explain what it felt like to live with lupus and the reality of having limited and unpredictable energy. The metaphor came from a conversation with a friend who asked what it was like to live with a chronic illness.
The Spoon Theory has since been widely shared and adapted by the chronic illness and disability communities. Writers such as Jenny Lawson have helped bring visibility to the realities of invisible illness, mental health struggles, and navigating life with limited energy.
The metaphor is simple: Each person begins the day with a certain number of spoons — a way of representing available energy.
Everyday activities require energy:
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Getting dressed
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Showering
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Cooking
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Working
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Socializing
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Managing stress
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Making decisions
For those living with chronic illness, disability, trauma, or prolonged stress, some days may begin with fewer spoons, or everyday tasks may require more energy than they appear to.
The goal is not to pretend we have unlimited energy.
The goal is to become wise stewards of the energy we have.
Some days we wake up with many spoons. Other days, we wake up with only a few.
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Energy Stewardship
A full-spoon day may look like:
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Strength training
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Cooking a nourishing meal
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Spending time with loved ones
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Creative work
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Exploring and learning
A limited-spoon day may look like:
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Drinking water
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Taking medication or supplements
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Stepping outside for five minutes
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Resting
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Asking for help
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Eating something nourishing and simple
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Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is honor our capacity and meet ourselves where we are.
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An Extra Spoon
For Yule, my daughter gave me a tiny silver spoon pin.
She said, "For when you need an extra spoon."
I wear it often, and every time I notice it, I remember that I don't have to carry everything alone.
Sometimes the most healing thing isn't finding more strength, it's accepting the extra spoon when you don't have any left.
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Dark Night of the Soul:
My Story
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